May 23 2017
NEWPORT, Oregon - After receiving a report of a cat in a tree holding an assault rifle, the Newport Oregon Police Department attended the scene, and, after ascertaining that the gun was actually a stick, they issued a "verbal warning" to the offending cat.
"Reports of an armed cat this morning were unfounded," police said. "The feline was contacted by our canine and was determined to be in possession of a non-lethal branch."
The officers ended the tongue-in-cheek post by stating the cat had been apprehended and charged with several offenses.
"The cat was given a verbal warning for posing with what could be mistaken as an assault rifle while wearing poor camouflage attire," police said.