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Matt Lauer Stole My Time Machine

by Aubra Salt - The Oregon Herald Wednesday July 8, 2015    12:14 PM

THE TODAY SHOW on NBC mornings, is four hours long. 84% of its broadcast contains commercials and promotions! The remaining 16% content is all too often less interesting than the commercials! Why the hell do we put up with it? I mean, it's capitalism gone amok. I'd nearly rather die than be forced to watch Matt Lauer every morning.

Most people just put up with it, won't buy a DVR to bypass the steady deluge of moronic soap bubbles. They smile and some even plan for the future when the world around them is falling apart and I'm not talking about sinkholes.

Not everyone loves science. They'd rather read little signs on Facebook with shared comments declaring: SHARE IF YOUR DOG LOVES YOU, or some such publically shared drivel. And they pass it on by the millions and watch some boob hit his head on Youtube. Sad but true. It's our world, your world, cartoons for movies, idiot journalists, moronic politicians who can't seem to handle low-life rebels with stolen guns in the desert, a third-rate education system in the US, forced to have Russia handle our space program, a preoccupation of the public with cop shows up the ying yang, and most comedy shows not funny, but lame and insidious.

And the Republicans keep saying we need to get our country back. Hell, we lost it years ago. Face it. You're dreaming! And the Democrats so quick to blame for a cause, jump on the bandwagon but forgot they can't afford to grease the wheels. Don't get me started on Greece.

Any generation can probably say the same but this one seems pretty far out without being "far out", hidden by flashing mobile screens, personalized tunes to answer callers they've never met face to face. They follow the leader but no one knows who that is, round and round ...

Far too many people don't know what the third planet from the sun is, or really care what is beyond their window, content to be locked away in the comfort of their own make-believe world, supernatural this, or that. Hey, surprise, it's earth, third from the sun.

We're all running out of time, getting older as I write, walking the plank; can't back up or if I step to the side, it's suicide. I have many faults but faith in the illogical is not one of them. I've searched far and wide and still cannot find my time machine to get back to the future. One way or the other, Mr Glib himself, Matt Lauer must have it in hiding for a quick escape. Hard to believe we both come from the 24th century.

Perhaps I'm dreaming. All too often I feel totally out of place until my wife or a good friend comes along to remind me how lucky I am to be here at all.

One of my grandkids could have been murdered while huddled in a school closet from some deranged maniac, could have been shot in San Francisco, or killed by an angry cop who believed he could get away with anything and is usually correct. Or I could have been given the wrong medicine on purpose, or a plane could have crashed on landing with my daughter making it out okay only to be run over by some stupid driver of a snow truck, twice.

Who do we blame for all this crap? God? Hey, maybe it's a start, begin by giving him a parking ticket. Good luck on finding his majesty to fess up. I mean, sometimes it is an act of God.

I respect science because it's self-correcting, knows no borders unlike the steady stream of dogma people defend without serious thought. If things get much worse I'll be on my way to Rockefeller Center at NBC to find that time machine. One way or the other, Lauer will have to fess up.

Photo: Today Show host Matt Lauer stole my time machine and won't tell me where he hid it!
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